Multifaceted Me

Thursday, February 23, 2012

More Harm Than Good?

I've been meaning to update my last blog post for a while but time has not permitted.  Now that I have a minute, I'll get you up to speed.

No less than an hour after I submitted my last post, my daughter came into the room and bursted into tears.  She sobbed and sobbed and when I asked her why, she finally told me she felt like a loser.  She was out shopping with friends and according to her they were buying whatever they wanted-not an option for her.  Partly my fault because I only gave her the cash I had which was less than $50.  Anyway, she had been saving her own money for an iTunes card and ended up spending what I gave her as well as what she had to "fit in."  As she cried in my arms my heart broke.

We talked about money and priorities, friends and peer pressure and feeling out of place.  In conclusion, I told her to take that frustration out on the court-which she did.

She loves volleyball and is getting better at it everyday.  Part of me wanted to end all the pain and discomfort by pulling her out.  What good would it do her to feel like a "loser"?  For those who don't have teenagers, you can probably remember being one-they're dealing with enough.  Who needs that?  No sooner than I could debate it in my head, she got out on that court and had a wonderful tournament.

I'm still left with the question, is it worth it?  Part of me says of course!  It's an investment in her future!  It's an outlet for an older sibling!  Then part of me asks at what point is it more harm than good?

For the time being, we have decided to keep her in club volleyball.  She is learning important life lessons and growing as a player.  Next year we may sit club out.  She'll be in high school and playing high school volleyball.  Hopefully that level of competition will be challenging enough while she gets a handle on getting good grades which is more important anyway.  I may be returning to school myself to get my RN degree and if so will have clinicals every other weekend making the travel to tournaments impossible.  But for 10th grade, she will more than likely return to club.  I think the good outweighs the bad.

It's good to be exposed to things that are different than what we're used to.  When we're not, we become closed-minded.  We don't stretch ourselves or look for possibilities outside of our box.  I want my daughter to know that whatever she desires in life, work and love is possible.  And I don't want her dreams to be limited to this little town we currently reside in.  Club takes her out of this little town and she gets to interact with people from all over.  That to me is more important than the pain of not fitting in.  At least for now it is.


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